After going through my previous blog entries, I realized that the past days, I have been really depressed. I wrote about nothing else but despair and pessimism.
Now, I would like to change that. So far, nothing has changed. I am still being unproductive and I despise this state so badly. At least, even if we are not, and we will never be as close as we used to, my mother and I are OK again. She is finally helping me once again, in terms of life long plans I have been longing to work on.
I promised myself that I will eat up all the pride I have and bring nothing but happy vibes into our home. I am striving to change my aura and be warm and light instead of coming of as strong and dark. I will obey my mother willingly this time and continue listening and praying to God. I give myself a maximum of 3 months to take care of myself this way. I know I will succeed afterward.
I am looking forward to a fun and productive life very soon. I have learned my lesson once and for all, and I will seize the moment once again that chance I have been longing to get. I will not let myself and believers down anymore. I will work hard and stay strong.